Personal Information Without Verification

Have you ever received a call from a friend you haven’t spoken to in 10 years? You wonder under what circumstances they acquired your information. I am the type of person who will not give out other people’s information easily. Especially if I don’t know the status of the relationship or if there has been a marriage or other major changes in a person’s life. I always try to verify it is ok to share or I take the requestors information and give it to the targeted person.

This situation can be risky business if done without consideration for the targeted party. Sometimes there is disrespect or disregard in the situation. Take for instance my husband’s mother. She gave out his work phone number to some old friends of his. There are several things I find wrong with this picture.

First, there is absolutely no reason to give out work information as the primary way to contact someone. No one had died these people were not in urgent situations. Work is not for general conversation with miscellaneous people. You can give it out to whom you would like to yourself, but definitely not someone else.

Second, one of the people she gave my husband’s number to was a woman. I definitely don’t agree with that. You need to know she is ok to contact him. You need to know her status within our marriage. Certain friends are not a part of our lives at this point. On both sides. The proper thing to do would have been to get her information and pass it on to him if he wanted it.

I don’t understand this behavior. She has done this before. Usually every couple of years something like this pops up. I thank God my husband and I are mature in our relationship at this point, but there still are situations we would rather not be included. His mother does not know how this woman has behaved since we’ve been married. She calls and leaves messages cursing like a sailor on our voicemail. My husband is grown now with a wife and kids. He is also a minister. Cleary this woman does not know how to deal with him at this point. He has changed. She knows he is married and I don't really know her. Personally, I would tone it down a bit until I got to know everyone or something. One time she wouldn't identify herself on the phone. I had to threaten to hang up on her. Maybe she doesn't understand how this is viewed. This does not make me happy that she has started to come back around. I try never to tell my husband who he can or can't have as friends, but this girl definately makes it hard.

Sometimes I think there is a lack of respect on the Mom’s part. She tends to do weird things concerning her son. I don’t think she understand we are on the same page with this type of issue. My husband and I talk and come to agreements with how we are going to handle our lives and who we will include. I feel she does this to circumvent me. I don’t think she believes that her son has willingly made certain changes in his life. I usually get the blame for anything he does different. I could be wrong, but we have some issues between us. I will save that discussion for another day.

I am just curious to know what others think on this subject. I know I can be a bit uptight, but some people are too loose and it causes major trouble in their lives. We all should be considerate and thoughtful of people we love and their situations. It doesn’t matter if you agree with how they handle things. You still have to respect their decisions. This type of issue is not a morally right or wrong situation. It is a preference of choosing how you will run your life. Protection of what you will let enter your world.